i'd pull my hair out

stopped and saw a friend up in Nw Arkansas...she happens to run a home daycare. My husband says to me when we leave "i could see you doing something like that". Im thinking "WHAT" Id kill a kid. They would do something totally absoultley crazy and before I knew it- it would be 20yrs to life for me. Nope Nope No thanks. But hey for you ladies with about 98% more patience then me- there has got to be some money in it. 6 kids at $125each is...what...$750 per week. heck thats Northward of Thirty five Grand a year.

Look at me- had this blog for all of about 10 minutes and Im a dang ole motivational speaker. Ha

He says mmmmommma

its not as rewarding as i thought it might be...hearing him call out for me.

he dosent say my name with a smile or the sound of love in his voice. He calls (screams) my name when somethings not right, when someones too sleepy, when the sound of rain wakes him from his precious rest, or when a loud voice disrupts his space. its not what i expected and maybe not what i needed but knowing that this tiny person knows with all his being that i am MOMMA is enough for me.

I am the righter of wrongs and the fixer of what's broken. I am the one that he trusts above all others and for good reason...because i am also the one that wakes throughout the nite just to check in- the one that keeps playing when all i want is a little rest- and the one that gives my all even when im all give out.

WHY?

...of all things I have to do in a day... why on Earth would I want to pile "blogging" on top of it?
Guess that Question can be lumped up with all the other unanswered curiosities running through my head. Like where does the other sock go? And whats the difference between concrete and asphalt anyway? Maybe it's because I have something to say-worth hearing by someone other than the ears of a 5 month old. Then again...maybe not.