There is a beginning for a reason

So Lets start there...

I had an extremely normal childhood. 1 older brother, a dog, mom, dad, the whole 9. Grew up in a small town in NW Arkansas. Middle class income NOTHING too exciting about all that.



School wasnt as important for me as it should have been and getting out of it was the most important part of my day. Like most, I didnt apply myself and didnt see much reason to. I didnt have a "plan" for life after high school and College had been given a bad name in my house, by my brother. Who had dropped out a year earlier.



I met, married, and moved away with a man whom I called "my only shot at getting out of this town". To clarify there was nothing- absoultley nothing wrong with this man aside from the fact that he had chosen to make an 18 year old woman his bride. We were married for 2 years and as "statisically" expected we were divorced.



In my wild eyes I saw this as a chance at freedom but in my heart I knew I was much too afraid to live alone, to be alone. I quickly moved into a realtionship that could be labled the darkest part of my life. HE was a beautiful man and like most "beautiful men" he came with his share of problems and baggage. As the old saying goes "The more I bitched, the more he drank". It took some time for me, to bring my mental state to escape.



Soon after I learned that I was pregnant. I cant remember a more devaistating feeling in my life. None the less, he and I where once again bound to one another. The 9 or 10 weeks that followed where filled with up and down moments. I had become very excited to be a mother and terrified to raise a child in the pretext that was my life, all at the same time. When suddenly everything crumbled. I saw Dr.Yang with what I expected to be a routine Urinary tract infection. My heart sank when I learned that it could not be confirmed, but all signs suggested that I was to miscarry. The 3 days to follow would be the most painful, difficult days of my life.



And just as this man had wondered into to my life...He wondered back out in the arms of another woman.



It didnt take long to recover from the previous tourment. I found myself enjoying my work, my home, and good friends. For me life had finaly begun.

Why wouldnt you blog about it?

Since I have begun blogging myself, Ive become much more interested in the blogs of others. AND SOME OF THEM have been through some real interesting stuff in their lives but choose to write about everything but that. I just dont get it. Writing is a way to let go of harbored feelings- I place to free your fears- a place to be heard in full. SO Why wouldnt you blog about it?